


Mercy, Mercy (But Love is Strange)

by sweeterthankarma



Series: Pride Month Prompts 2020 [27]
Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: Long-Distance Relationship, Love Letters, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, Post-Movie, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-04 11:15:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24968803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweeterthankarma/pseuds/sweeterthankarma
Summary: Thomas addresses his letters to Rose. He knows Richard will understand why.
Relationships: Thomas Barrow/Richard Ellis
Series: Pride Month Prompts 2020 [27]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1769956
Comments: 4
Kudos: 45





	Mercy, Mercy (But Love is Strange)

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Pride Month and welcome to my first ever month-long fic challenge! For thirty days, I'll be writing and posting LGBTQ+ fics inspired by the prompts listed [here](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/517562182177703635/). These fics will be anywhere from 100-1,500 words, will be for different fandoms, ships and characters, and will all stand alone. Here goes nothing!
> 
> Day 27 Prompt: Dedicated.
> 
> Title comes from the song "Love Letter" by Bonnie Raitt.

Thomas addresses his letters to Rose. He knows Richard will understand why.

Everytime he receives a parcel back, snow covered and cold to the touch due to hours spent on his doorstep, Thomas thanks whatever god there may be above that no one’s proven his rightfully paranoid efforts to be of use — at least, not yet . Should he ever get a return message saying Richard’s letter got delivered to the wrong home or he abruptly moved residence, Thomas won’t feel a shiver of dread, of fear, of unknowing, at least not for fear of exposure. He’s determined not to feel that (at least not too much, at least not for now), or to let this love be tainted by anything but the words on the page. And these have changed them, have caused a shift in their being both collectively and individually. Thomas has never read anything quite so indulgent, so sinful in the best possible way, just as he’s never known that words could be strung in such an order and written with such a slant to make him feel more need than he’s ever had, for someone he’s only just beginning to know.

So, he writes to Rose. It’s not that Thomas would ever want his confessions to greet anyone but Richard, of course, but that prospect would be better than the alternative considering the content inside the sallow envelopes, needy and desirous and as covetous as anything in a romantic novela. Though the words written on the page are as thinly veiled as they can possibly be in relation to gender, people are smart and Thomas knows this. Anyone with an eye for the peculiar would be able to tell that Rose’s beauty isn’t quite described by Thomas in a way one would expect, not typical or polite. The way Thomas writes to Rose isn’t a fit way for him to talk to any woman, should she actually exist and would he actually have an attraction towards her.

Thomas’s Rose isn’t feminine, not thin or fragile or sculpted like a porcelain doll, all curves and swaying fabric of ball gowns and night caps and sweet perfume. She’s not trimmed hairless or described as smooth, graceful, gentle — well, she’s gentle in a different way.  _ He’s  _ gentle in a different way, in a way that Thomas tries his hardest to describe, to relive, to share with Richard and proclaim how much he misses it. His touch, so aware, so poignant, so daring— Thomas closes his eyes and rereads his own writing before he licks the seal and wishes it were Richard’s lips. He remembers it all, doesn’t mind that the pronouns on the page don’t match his memory, don’t match their truth— he and Richard’s truth. He knows Richard won’t mind either. It’s what they have to do.

In a way, it’s almost nice like this. The secrecy is a given, there’s no way to fight it, so instead they find their way around it, don’t falter no matter how much stamps cost. This is the way they have to be together for now, their love transcending town lines and postal codes, their words quietly desperate, steadily dedicated, upon the pages of folded papers, writing wishes that will eventually, hopefully, someday come true.

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi and celebrate pride month with me on Tumblr [here.](https://sweeterthankarma.tumblr.com/)


End file.
